I began this year with Him and He fuels the fires of hope in my heart that need constant attention.
But, what can be said for past year after years of looking forward? As we universally face the calm before a whole nother storm how can we see it for what it is? Resolutions come and go of course but hope lasts. Change is possible but not on our own time. We constantly cope with our individual states and statuses, desires and obligations, sacrifices and indulgences, condemnations and arrogances. What do we possess now that plunges us into further growth?
From where I stand, I hesitate to look yet, as I'm preoccupied with past and self.
I struggle to let go of disappointments; viscous cycles of apathy; and unbelief. Let me not be blind.
My gaze is transfixed on my own state. My heart and it's broken places are in need of faith. My soul cries for release. Let me not be deaf.
I feel the wind of the upcoming year. A whiff of fresh, exotic spices; a stench of old, familiar, a light breeze after rain, along with a hot, blistering wind blow through and around me. All I have is a face set and firm.
I meet this new bundle of seasons that find my heart's soil in various conditions. I'm weak and no amount of willpower or party runaways will change that.
But as I look ahead the point isn't to be a better me.
Though everything within me disagrees, I must have faith that my Maker has already planned my good deeds and perseverances. There will be new faces and revelations that will be gifts to my life.
So, without further ado, I embrace you Future Unknown. I do not ignore the past or the reality of my present weakness but instead refuse to die as I live tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. I live knowing that I do not have control over the circumstances or results within life but I thankfully continue to sing.
Thank you for your gifts Father. I live among them and your hands have gone before me. I thank you. I'm loved by you in the future:)
