I hesitate to look again at this blank page. It's been so long. I am not the same. Do I remember me like that? I look at the dusty shelves of the shimmering parts I have forgotten. Busy building. Busy chasing. Busy....busy... Please let their be fruit from this effort.
It's quiet in here. Time still and I stop to remember. Remember us. Remember who we have been together and what I knew soo well back then. Remember the battles we've waged. Me on Your lap. Visions of You so clearly, so often. SO REAL! Papa I mourn what I have lost. Can these parts of me belong in the now?
I speak to these parts of me I once knew so well, "Come forth!" I am a writer. I sing songs to soothe. To touch my Father's heart and honor His rightful place. I bring color and laughter to worlds around me and remind others that freedom even still exists.
Sing out if you know His song please. I scour the conversations I hear looking for His words. I find few. I need these words because I'm getting so used to the anger, the dissatisfaction, the complaining stretched out for miles on the verbal landscape of my people. Do we know.... do we still know... we have forgotten who we are.
Move in me Father. I dust these mountains and chains from my back. I love how you clean the filth from me that my filthy hands never can.
Let this depth, let these treasures not be a thing of the past.
Launch me forth in Your creativity that the world has not yet seen! I create to bring life. I wield your words like a weapon of destruction to death, to complacency, to doubt, to defeat. You move and I watch and tell all that will listen of the miracle.
You move Papa....
I watch....
Erase my hamster wheel goals.
I will wipe my eyes so I can be changed by something I see for once.
You. Looking at You changes me and the world I see and love.
Beckon. You beckon. Our history jolts me into the kind of future you have for me. Bring me back to this place as many times as you have to Father. I can be who You see me as.
Friday, November 10, 2017
John 1
Before creation was our Saviour and King. Not existent and then servant-like, Jesus Christ is a Messiah who existed before creation always defined to be the answer, the truth, the wisdom to satiate our deep ache for His fingerprints within us to be more. You Jesus, molded us and through you and the breath of our Father were we made. Our familiarity with your hands was dulled by darkness. We turned from you thinking that life was on our terms and the secret deeds were our purpose. But there you came into the world! You were with God and were God, time passed, we made things worse, all was shrouded in darkness and finally you came and entered the world. You Jesus, the reason the logic that Greeks so value and puzzle about wondering are you tangible are you possible? Yes and in fact can we not only meet Truth, we can live in love with you and never have to bear the weight of wisdom but depend on You in relationship as your spirit dwells within us and testifies to our eternal connection with you.
You came. The Word, into our space, looking like us, to bring light to our doorstep. To mess up our structured disorders and get us to look into your face, the one we not only didn't recognize but also rejected. The one we were made by and predestined to be saved by His blood. All meaning, all truth, all goodness is only a testimony of you Jesus. Nothing is made outside of You! You hold all expression, all passion coming in all power to move heaven and earth that we would have the fulfillment of the light only found in you. When your light burst through our plummets of stale sin, the darkness our weak eyes only knew could do nothing in the splendor of your light, bursting to reclaim the destinies of the ones you have made.
John came first. You sent him to get your people ready for the revolution of truth to come. His wild calls started waking up hearts, making people think twice about sin and their allegiances to God. Questions were to form, hearts were to be cleansed to receive, Holla ya'll this is the lamb of God and John was to be whole-heartedly obsessed, ready and poised to harold the coming of the one who would come after him but would be far above him himself. Because of John, belief arose, unsettling the dust and empty vessels were cleansed ready to be filled by the Spirit that would meet up with Jesus the one John wouldn't even consider helping strap his sandles. The extent of John's faith was astounding. This burning lamp testified of a man he knew very little about, yet he gave his very life to stake out in the desert, live off of bugs and honey and wear camel hides for. John did not even fellowship with Jesus, he didn't know him but gave everything that people would believe in his name. When questioned he only identified himself as a statement pointing to the coming of God's son. Crazed and awake to the voice and movements of God, John immediately went off in declaration of the sight of Jesus both times that he saw him. "This is the one!" he said, " this is the one who will take away the sin of the world!" In John's witness, there was a deeper call for a dawning of relearning. Striking the dirt in preparation that the law of Moses would finally be made full and brought to life.
This Jesus Christ brought not only the power of this law but the reality of it fully manifested within him in the grace of being known by him, being personally rebuked by him, redeemed and loved in his death and filled with hope in his Resurrection.
You came. The Word, into our space, looking like us, to bring light to our doorstep. To mess up our structured disorders and get us to look into your face, the one we not only didn't recognize but also rejected. The one we were made by and predestined to be saved by His blood. All meaning, all truth, all goodness is only a testimony of you Jesus. Nothing is made outside of You! You hold all expression, all passion coming in all power to move heaven and earth that we would have the fulfillment of the light only found in you. When your light burst through our plummets of stale sin, the darkness our weak eyes only knew could do nothing in the splendor of your light, bursting to reclaim the destinies of the ones you have made.
John came first. You sent him to get your people ready for the revolution of truth to come. His wild calls started waking up hearts, making people think twice about sin and their allegiances to God. Questions were to form, hearts were to be cleansed to receive, Holla ya'll this is the lamb of God and John was to be whole-heartedly obsessed, ready and poised to harold the coming of the one who would come after him but would be far above him himself. Because of John, belief arose, unsettling the dust and empty vessels were cleansed ready to be filled by the Spirit that would meet up with Jesus the one John wouldn't even consider helping strap his sandles. The extent of John's faith was astounding. This burning lamp testified of a man he knew very little about, yet he gave his very life to stake out in the desert, live off of bugs and honey and wear camel hides for. John did not even fellowship with Jesus, he didn't know him but gave everything that people would believe in his name. When questioned he only identified himself as a statement pointing to the coming of God's son. Crazed and awake to the voice and movements of God, John immediately went off in declaration of the sight of Jesus both times that he saw him. "This is the one!" he said, " this is the one who will take away the sin of the world!" In John's witness, there was a deeper call for a dawning of relearning. Striking the dirt in preparation that the law of Moses would finally be made full and brought to life.
This Jesus Christ brought not only the power of this law but the reality of it fully manifested within him in the grace of being known by him, being personally rebuked by him, redeemed and loved in his death and filled with hope in his Resurrection.
What happens when the kindness shown to a fool that they may be humbled is shown to you. I am a fool and let there be mercy! After months of denial I'm being confronted with issues that I can't avoid. I have to deal with the fact that my work environment is a mess and my positive resolve isn't making it anymore. I have to deal with the fact that I have checked out at church and I set my mind to be more involved but quite frankly I want to move to a different location and go to another church. How have I convinced myself up to this point that I'm fine because I'M NOT and I have to deal with this issue. I have to deal with the issue that I'm not satisfied in the relationship that I'm in. Right now, staying home for awhile is looking pretty good. LORD!!! HELP!! The pitifulness of my kindness was revealed in the face of a new hire and whose been having trouble finding his place. I was open with him and let him know how things are around here and he has to pull it together to keep his job. Little did I know that the managers are going around bullying him and treating him like a five year old. I realize I cope by surrounding myself with positivity and avoid facing conflict because I've never learned to deal with s***. Jesus confronted issues!!!!;kajsnd;filanw;fovi He wasn't just nice all the time. Mercy that's just. Lord work a miracle where that comes out of me because I've been flowing in a whole lot of criticism and judgment because apparently I can't deal with real problems. Lord, how blind I have been to reality because I have just been "faithing" it out. True hope recognizes severe circumstances and exists anyway. I don't know what to do. Lord, please lead me. Let your correction come and let me discern and divide wisely. Lord, I have gotten to the place where I need to be trained to be mature not
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